2011

Clouds and you, are the two things that I want to figure out the most.

I want to figure out what clouds really are and what's inside them. I'd like to imagine that they're bunch of fluffy pillows once you lay your head, you never wanna get up again. I sometimes imagine them as vanilla ice cream or something creamy that melts, once it reaches your mouth. Another time, I'd like to imagine them as God's play-doughs and God is playing with them, trying to make figures which humans have to guess. On top of it all, I finally figure out that they're just some mass of water droplets in the sky and there's nothing really inside it. They're not fluffy nor they're creamy, they're just mass of water droplets you can't touch.

With you, it's different. I imagine you in every shape just the way I imagine clouds, but I never figure out what's behind every glance you give or every curves of your smiles. Perhaps not yet. But at least I can touch you; you're a visible mass that I can touch and interact with.

Kenapa kau menghujat matahari dan mencintai hujan?

.
.
.
.
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Bukankah keduanya adalah ciptaan Tuhanmu?

Oh sugar.

Don't ask me about my curiosity towards you. I've been always curious. 

Suatu saat

Nanti, akan ku kirimkan kartu pos dengan gambar bangunan klasik khas Eropa.
Nanti, akan ku tuliskan cerita tentang pertama kalinya aku menyentuh salju.
Nanti, akan ku kirimkan perlengkapan dapur yang kau suka.
Nanti, akan ku ajak kau berkeliling ke taman kota.
Nanti, akan ku ceritakan konser pertama yang aku tonton bersama teman-teman ku, atau pertandingan sepak bola dari klub favoritku.

Pasti, aku akan sangat merindukan kalian.

Nanti.....

Untuk Mama dan Bapak, for always believing that I could go far. Thank you.

So hey,

I dreamt of you last night. It was one of those obscure dreams I have.
We were somewhere outside a fancy building, a library perhaps, and it was raining. Lightly.
You were in your sweater and I was in my jacket. We were running for some shelters. Together.
I was behind you and felt very protected. I even could smell your fragrance (I've always loved your perfume). And that is all. That was my dream of you.

Then I woke up to the sound of morning rain.

I felt happy and miss at the same time.

One thing for sure

That life is a series of decision making.

Sometimes I just wish someone makes the decision for me or no decision were made at all. Just go with the flow. But then I realize, going with the flow is also a decision. I think it goes like this; if we don't make any decisions, we don't live.

To live is to decide, agree?

Yeah, in my dream

It somehow feels so warm and heart flattering.
Thank you for looking for me among the crowd; wishing I was there.

Wish it happens in reality.

Perhaps

What if I just stand there and watch the world goes by?
Me with no initiative,
Do you think I'm good enough?
Maybe I won't do it, maybe I will

Rejected idea

Why so?
Dad didn't like the idea of me going to Semarang alone. Yes, yes, this afternoon I came up with an idea of extending my holiday. I was thinking, after I meet Nida in Bandung I can extend my holiday in Semarang. Dhea's there so I can stay in her dorm or something. But, parents said it would be very dangerous of me taking a bus from Bandung to Semarang, alone (yes, budget minimization, ha). Boo hoo. I want a little adventure, lehr.

Maybe next time.

RRRandom

I used to know how to count 1 up to 10 in Somalian.
Thanks to the bus ride with AIC people :)

This one is for you Nida

We have lot of things in common, besides our name ( Fida Nida).
We have common thoughts, well maybe it's because we're at the same phase; adolescence. I don't know. She's good in words and describing things. Though we seperated by ocean, she knows what I think, how I feel, and she knows how to explain it in words.

I miss her. Truck loads.

Dedicated to Nida since she's the best commentor on my blog (haha). Tania and Ala, just wait, I'll be making one for you too.

What is it?

Why do I always regret things that happened to me?
Why do I always insist that I'm not in the right place?
Why do I always wanna be like them?
Why do I always wanna have something I know I can't have?



and I won't stop asking.

And random is my middle name

To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for?
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone wants to be loved
To be loved
What more could you ask for?
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone…

About a girl - The Academy Is...

I think knowing that you are loved is one of the greatest feeling in the world,
And being in love is the second greatest feeling, haha. Wth? Do you get what I mean?



No, I'm not in love. Don't worry.

Another soundtrack

Hal yang menyenangkan hati banyak sekali
bahkan kalau kita bermimpi..

(Ost. Chibi Marukochan)

I feel the changes in myself, good and bad,
for one year and six months.
I feel different.

I become more 'laid-down' type of person.
Did I spell it right?



Sigh, I don't want 2009 to end.

YEAHH

I think I've chosen the wrong major.
I'm a science type of person. But I chose Management.
I should chose Economics of Development which is more 'science'.
Oh wells, they're both Economics anyway.

And it's on.

Found out senior is different than what I thought.
,






So, who the hell is senior?

30th post

Congratulation for making it!


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I hope you are happy!
Well, of course you are. So obvious.

Because I am me

I really wish someone would ask me cliche questions,
Like, how I feel, what am I doing, how am I going.
Or just make sure if I'm alright
,

through cellphone.



Cliche, I know.
But you don't know how special it feels.
I wanna be like everybody else.

And I learnt something

That beautiful face is not always equal to beautiful behaviour.

And, What kinda shape are you?

I'm a square. Very fixed.
and I need to transform.


Erm, I'm a denial too. Wait!
That isn't a shape!
Oh wells, that's me anyway.